I was a bun in the oven when my father left to serve during WWII. We first met after my 2nd birthday. There was nothing but snail mail at that time,

Soon after my father came home I had a cleft palate surgery. I was a frustrated little girl because most people could not understand me. Took speech therapy  and became a normal youngster!

I walked back and forth to school daily…two times…came home for lunch. Shoveled snow for most of my neighbors during snow season. I also cleaned my father’s office on Saturdays. It was fairly large…had three private offices, a library, file room, restroom and entry where secretaries were,  After elementary school and high school I left for college. I worked as a resident assistant during my undergraduate years and later as an assistant head resident.

I got a job and loved it but decided to take a leave of absence to further my  education. Got a job at the university as an assistant head resident once again to help provide for my expenses.

While working on my masters degree some of the students in the residence hall decided to go downtown on the weekend to see a movie.  Buses ran during the week but not on weekends so they walked downtown, On the way home two of the girls decided they didn’t want to walk back to the dorm and elected to hitch hike. The rest of the girls who went to the movie saw them get into a car, but when they got back to the dorm their two friends were not there.

They reported this to me and all seemed frantic. When students are doing something wrong…no one around knows anything. This was definitely different, I notified the Dean of Women and she said to get all the information I could and call her back after room check if they were not back. They were not back and I called her. Since I was the one getting first hand information she had me call the police and report them missing giving them all the facts I had collected.

The police came, interview girls and myself. The police had me go through their room to see if I could find anything to suggest they had left on their own accord. They initial thoughts were could they have run away, etc. To jump ahead a bit….the girls’ headless bodies were found near the university. From that time I had policemen interviewing all the time. This involved the state police and after that their heads were found in a well in a nearby state which involved more police.  Needless to say the entire residence hall was alarmed and idiots would drive by shouting things such as: we’re coming to get you….we’re going to chop off your heads, etc. I ended up dropping my morning graduate classes and spent the nights in the lobby with upset students. Oh yes, I got to contact the parents to inform them that their daughters were missing. If I remember correctly the police notified the families to inform them about their deaths.

The following school year I was asked to serve as the Head Resident of Co-ed Residence Hall  I completed my Masters Degree.
I had planned to stay on for another year, but life is not always predictable. My mother and I chatted about my father. He had heart problems and things were not looking good. I informed my bosses that I would not be there the next year.

I went home and helped with my father….even rode with him in the ambulance the night he died. Then the work began. My dad was an attorney and I started cleaning up his office and cases with the aid of a very good attorney friend who told me what to do and did the things that had to be done by an attorney. This enabled my mom to make some money from the unfinished cases my father had at the time of his death.

In the process I met my future husband who I had to contact in the process of closing some of the above mentioned cases.

We dated for a couple years and then got married, had three children within five years, bought a home, and he made the initial payment to purchase the business from his boss. My sister became ill and went into a program for the terminally and I went to be with her for a couple weeks. My husband took that time off from work to care for our three children. When I got home he looked at me like I was amazing and asked do you do all these things every single day?  After that he would come home from work, fold clothes, help in the kitchen, whatever he saw that wasn’t yet done rather than sit in front of the TV or read magazines and newspapers. When people complain about how little their husbands do I tell my story and tell them he just doesn’t know what you actually do. This is so much more important now days since both husbands and wives both are employed plus there is a home and family to manage,

A month and a half after we made the down payment on the business where my husband worked he suffered from an AVM (arterial venal malformation) and went into a coma. He was in the coma for 6 months. Neither my mother or his were healthy. My mom died while he was in a coma. The children were 11, 9 and 7.

Interesting conversation I had after my husband got sick: A friend of his mom’s called and said she had just heard about him and asked if I was going to tell his mom because she would be so upset. At that time his mom was in a nursing home because she had not been taking medications on schedule. We had just set times when he could stop and when I could stop at her home to make sure she took them as scheduled when he got sick and she was scheduled to go home.  I replied if you can tell me how to answer this question I won’t tell her. She seemed very excited and asked what the question was. I said what am I to tell her when she wants to know why her son who stops to see her every night on the way home from work no longer visits. She said oh didn’t think of that. Then I explained to her that my life is an open book, I tell it how it is and if someone can not handle that it is their problem. I don’t have time to remember who I told what.

One Sunday before he died we were at church and had plans for the afternoon but I got this message from God that I needed to go see my husband that day. I told the children and invited them to come or they could stay with a friend. (there were several families in the church that were always willing to help anyway they could). The kids took off after church to see if they could go to their friends homes for the afternoon.  I went to see my husband,  The gentleman in the bed next to my husband was being visited by his wife. We had never been there at the same time before. As I was getting ready to leave she asked if I had time to get a cup of coffee. I explained I didn’t drink coffee but would be glad to get a beverage. We were away from our husbands for about 20-30 minutes and about 5 minutes after returning my husband died.  God knew I wanted to be there and sent me a message in church. I had been there when my father died, when my mother died and again when my husband died.

After he died I was left to care for my three children, my mother-in-law, three homes, four vehicles, etc.

People asked me how I did it. My reply was always the same….got up in the morning, checked the day’s schedule to determine what was most important and dealt with whatever with my faith in God, good friends, neighbors and a wonderful church family. Never asked for help unless I really needed it and was never turned down when requesting help.

These days I get frustrated with people who expect to have their student loans paid in full by the government (actually we the people who pay taxes). When our children were young they each got $1.00 per week for allowance. They had to put $0.10 in either the Sunday School offering or the church offering. $0.45 they had to give to me to invest and $0.45 they could use to spend anyway they wanted. I waited for a number of weeks and told them we needed to have a chat about money. I asked how much each of them had and they looked at me like I had three heads. They had nothing. I showed them the investment account totals and on the spot they all demanded that I start investment accounts for their savings. From then on each child had a savings/savings account and an investment/savings account. I gave myself a pat on the back one day when we were out shopping.  My daughter saw something she wanted to buy and asked if she could get it. I asked how much money do you have in your savings account. She looked at me, looked at the wanted item and said “I don’t need it!” Not one of them ever had to apply for a student loan.  To this day with all three in their 40’s I’m proud to say they handle money better than most.

Over the years when asked if I worked, my reply has always been yes: 24/7 but I don’t get paid in cash. No matter what my kids were involved in over the years I was one of the volunteers and supporters. It was a standing joke at school that I spent more hours volunteering than most teachers spent working there.

I cared for multiple people who need help…not sure I can remember them all. A great aunt lived in my home for a while when there was no one close to her to care for her. My father’s brother was not well and was no longer able to do for himself. A neighbor had been checking in on him and called me to say he could no longer do so. He ended up moving into the nursing home near us, the one my mother-in-law where my mother-in-law had stayed,  The nursing home where my mother-in-law stayed was within walking distance from our home. The kids would get off the bus, dump their books, get the dog and take off to see Grandma and later their uncle. During the time she was there we decorated the doors of all the nursing home patients. When my great niece and nephew were young I would go stay with them if their parents needed help!  I had several neighbors and friends back in the day that I checked on regularly. I am and have been for the past 25 years the trustee for one of my nephews. One of my most true comments is that I never worked harder at any job that I was paid money to do as I did while helping others for no money,

LIfe is never easy but I’ve found if you keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep your faith in God He will care for you.